Joy Still Exists List #2

Because sometimes we need a little reminder

Welcome to the Joy Still Exists List! In this space, I share things that I find fascinating, intriguing, insightful, weird, and yes, joyful. Please consider supporting my work by subscribing or sharing with others who may find this list useful, helpful, or entertaining.

I know I’m not alone when I say this, but the world is extra heavy and griefy right now. But the Forced Joy Project didn’t start because life was going well. It started when we were heavy in shit. It started in a moment of desperation - to serve as a reminder that when you’re living in the darkness, to look for the light.

So while the world is falling apart and many of us feel helpless and hopeless, (and also, hello, holidays), let’s remember: joy still exists.

The first big snowfall of the season came this week and with it, a reminder to slow down, retreat, and go inward. It’s a lovely sentiment, it really is. And one I so. want. to. honor. But also this week, I learned my car has crapped out, my bills are piling up, and I’m sick. again (and I don’t freaking have time to be sick!).

It has me evaluating what’s a want and what’s a need. What’s necessary and what’s disposable? How do you honor the season of slow, while needing to move forward (and fast)?

What do you prioritize? And how do you balance it all?

I don’t know, but this edition of the Joy Still Exists List seems to mimic the push/pull that seems to be my life right now. A mixture of ways to slow and embrace the season and ways to push right through and add more, more, more.

I want to retreat and I need to keep moving forward. That’s not always easy, but it’s my truth (at least right now). Today’s joys are little reminders of this fact.

Current Joys:

I know my life is too hectic when I start getting excited about the winter. Not necessarily the cold, but the forced slow. “Oh, I would totally love to come meet you, but I’m snowed in” (*shrug*).

It feels like I only leave the house for a necessary grocery run, a chance to sauna & swim, or a blustery winter ski. I’m choosing books over bars - and even started a Banned Book Club with my friend, Shannon (last month we read The Bluest Eye. This month, I am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter). In a few months, I’ll be eager for warmth and long leisurely swims in the lake, but for now, I’ll take the snow. And the slow.

What I’m Reading/Watching/Listening To:

• Cancer Patient’s Last Wish Is To Pay the Medical Debt of Others (what an incredible impact and legacy)

• How to Cheer Yourself Up on a Hard Day (some easy reminders we could all probably use)

• The Best Thing to Text to a Friend (to remove ALL the pressure)

• This List of “extremely positive or inspiring” podcast episodes. Thank you to

  Cruel Summer Book Club
  for recently sharing the list, which will be a great reprieve in between all the griefy moments this time of the year.

• American Symphony. I have been reading the words of

  Suleika Jaouad
  since her 2012 New York Times column. I had just been diagnosed with cancer and felt so much of myself in her words. I have continued to be a fan of her writing - through my relapse, through Brad's diagnosis, through his death - finding comfort in her honesty, compassion, and the truth in which she wrote. Her memoir, Between Two Kingdoms, is the type of book I aspire to write. She and her husband (the incredible Jon Batiste) have captured the tenderness, the duality, the love that exists between two people affected by cancer. All that to say, I can't wait to watch this documentary.

• “And then they said we couldn’t have avocados” (I am still laughing at this stand-up bit)

Can’t Stop Thinking About:

Nyad. I turned 40 this year, which may seem old to some (*cough cough* gen Zers *cough cough*), but to me, it’s simply a reminder of how much life I’ve both lived and (if I’m lucky), how much I still have left to live. This movie was a beautiful story of one woman’s desire to achieve her dream of swimming 110 miles from Cuba to Florida - at the age of 60. And has inspired me to sign up for my very first open-water swim race!

“Advice” for the Freshly Grieving from

Nora McInerny

- why we need to stop saying “I’m Fine” when we are so clearly not and why we don’t have to turn our pain into purpose. And if you’re newly grieving (or just grieving) and looking to be with others where you don’t have to be fine or find purpose in your loss, consider joining the Forced Joy Club, a safe space to connect with others who get it.

For the grieving.

Learning to play the Ukulele. It’s been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. But like most dreams that don’t serve a purpose besides pure enjoyment, it’s been on the back burner. Recently, I found this cutie vintage instrument from the 1920s (that I’m not sure can even hold its tune), amd it has me re-invigorated to learn! So 2024, look out. It will be the year of the Uke. And maybe other hobbies that don’t become businesses or get turned into profit. And bonus, learning to play has health benefits too!

Waking up at 5:30 to Write by

Marlee Grace

has me reflecting on priorities and what we’re willing to sacrifice to get them done. Writing is one of my most meaningful practices and also the one that tends to get pushed down to the bottom of the to-do list. My dream is to write a book (I have several pinballing around my brain at any given time), but when it comes down to putting pen to paper, I stop short of any real progress. Why? Is it because it’s scary to write about your darkest days? (yes). Is it because it requires a shit ton of work? (yes). Is it because it requires time and commitment and sacrifices? (yes and yes and yes). Marlee’s recent post has me wondering what it really takes to write a book and what am I really willing to give up to make that dream a reality. More to come on that.

Waking up at 5:30am to write

How about you? Where are you finding joy right now? Let us know in the comments below.

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