Joy Still Exists List #4
Because sometimes we need a little reminder
Welcome to the Joy Still Exists List! In this space, I share things that I find inspiring, illuminating, and yes, joyful. Please consider subscribing or sharing with others who may find this list helpful.
It may seem trivial to talk about joy when the world is extra griefy right now. But the Forced Joy Project didn’t start because life was going well. It started when we were heavy in shit. It started in a moment of desperation - to serve as a reminder that when you’re living in the darkness, to look for the light. Now, more than ever, we need a place for joy.
So while the world is falling apart and you may be feeling hopeless, let’s remember: joy still exists.
When this post hits your inboxes, I will be preparing to embark on a lifelong dream of checking off my number one bucket list item. I will be boarding a ship to my 7th and final continent - ANTARCTICA!
To fully embrace this once-in-a-lifetime experience, I’ll be taking some time away from my computer for almost 2 weeks (probably my first time doing that in my entire adult life). To say it’s needed is an understatement.
I have so many feelings leading up to this trip and I can’t wait to share more, but the internet is sparse and the tango is calling, so for now, a few photos from the last few days in Buenos Aires (and a day trip to Uruguay), where Nate and I spent our time soaking up all the music, food, wine, culture, and heat.
And for the rest of this Joy Still Exist list, here’s what I’ve found joyful, inspiring, and illuminating around the web.
What’s Joyful Now:
Winter in Northern Michigan. I have spent the early part of the year based out of DC, preparing for this big bucket list trip. As much as I love the city and getting extra time with my partner Nate, I still feel that ache for home - for these quiet, wintery days when the lake magically freezes over and the snow piles up with nowhere to go. Reading the
substack written by my friend, , has me both feeling more connected to this place I love - and yes, also giving me major fomo.“We ambled into the water, moving chunks of ice to clear a path for our bodies. We experienced the sensation of ice chunks pressing against our legs for the first time. We sank low, we breathed as the Lake breathed, a steady inhale and exhale that slowly shifted the ice around us. We were a part of it.”
“If there was a way for grief to be less lonely, it was worth a try. If there was a space that was warm and thoughtfully made, not a stop-gap program but an evolving ecosystem, it was worth trying to build it.”
If you know me, you know I love a good reminder that “we’re all terminal” (as Brad said after his stage 4 cancer diagnosis). The Surprising Gift of the "Old Age" Filter by
is pure beauty with a side of much-needed perspective. I want this reminder tattooed across my wrinkly face:“A few years ago I wrote a song that included the words, “I saw a photo of you/ I saw the lines on your face/ I made you smile once/ so maybe one of those lines has my name.” Staring into my own ancient eyes, I knew that every wrinkle on my face had the name of someone I loved. I have so many wrinkles, I thought, because I have loved so many people. To me, that is aging WONDERFULLY. “
What’s Inspiring:
The Best Article On Self Improvement I've Seen. 16 Small Ways to Get Your Shit Together (I love a self-improvement article that’s infused with a lot of f-bombs).
On Being Podcast: Nick Cave on Loss, Yearning, and Transcendence.
“I think that there was a sort of zeal attached to grief, of seeing the world in a completely different way. I don’t see the world in the same way as I did before. It’s much more complex than I thought and much more fragile. And this creates a different feeling towards people in general. I found, anyway. I hear that a lot, that grief and empathy are very much connected, in the same way as loss and love are very much connected, too. And that the common energy running through life is loss, but you can translate that into love too, quite easily. They’re very, very much connected. And that comes around from an understanding of just how fragile and vulnerable and precarious the nature of life seems to be.” - Nick Cave
The Most Incredible Story of Survival and Resilience. This might be particularly appealing to me because I’m about to hear to the bottom of the world, but this is a must-read, even for those staying warm on dry land.
100 Tiny Changes to Transform Your Life. Two of my favorites are #27: “Believing that everyone is interesting and attractive – and that they find me to be so, too! I figured that if I was going to have a fantasy about what other people thought of me, I might as well make it a good one.” and #85. “Focusing on joy, rather than willpower. I started exercising only when I found activities I adored (tennis, dancing); I started eating copious amounts of vegetables only when I found dishes I loved. And I started writing only when I took to working in sunny cafe windows.”
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How do I keep going?” this post from
is full of many useful and beautiful ideas.
What’s Illuminating:
Why Can't Hobbies Just be Fun? The Secret To Enjoying A Hobby? Half-Ass It. (This is something I can stand behind).
Joy & Sadness in Inside Out. Did you know that for the original Inside Out Movie, the two main emotions were supposed to be Joy and Fear? But the writers realized that we have very little to learn from fear, so they switched to Joy and Sadness (which if you’re here, reading this, you probably know that there is a lot we can learn from sadness).
“If you're sad, it's a way of connecting with other people. And we - a lot of times we sort of feel embarrassed by being sad, and we go off by ourselves to hide and cry by ourselves. But, really, it's a way of re-establishing relationship.”
What type of perfectionist are you? I love quizzes that help me decipher my crazy. I’m a mix between a Parisian perfectionist and a Procrastinator perfectionist. How about you?
Is it Irresponsible to Prioritize Fun? I’ve asked myself some version of this question a lot recently and thank you to
writer of and expert in all things “fun” for giving me an answer that doesn’t make me feel like shit.
How about you? Where are you finding joy right now? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below.
Thanks for sharing, Dana! Can't wait to dip with you in Lake Michigan, but so excited for your trip to Antarctica. Incredible!
Thank you Dana.