Words matter, even after death
44 True Thoughts on Brad's 44th Birthday
My one true sentence:
Words matter, even after death.
Today’s “one true sentence” is a little different.
I have spent the last 5 days re-reading every word of Brad’s I could find. Old journal entries, blog posts, op-eds to various publications, notes on scraps of paper I somehow managed to keep.
Today is Brad’s birthday, and, originally, I was going to find a single, powerful sentence from him. But frankly, there are just too many to choose from.
One of Brad’s greatest gifts was his ability to effortlessly string words together. The way his brain meandered into tangents before veering back with a potent point. It was poetic.
The loss of his words - his thoughts - is one of the greatest secondary losses accompanying my grief.
Brad had a lot of ambitions in his too-short 35 years. Run for office. Close the opportunity gap. Write a book (and then another and another). When he was diagnosed, he was in the beginning stages of a memoir. He never got to finish.
So much he never got to finish.
In honor of what would have been his 44th birthday (his prime year, according to him), I’d like to share 44 “Bradisms.” Thoughts found in his writing from over the years. Words that still resonate today. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll turn them into a book.
“10 years from now, if my timeline is right, I’ll be mayor. Ot at least will have run one time already. I’ll be 44 then — my prime year.”
From the journal of Bradford Frost
February 6, 2016, 8 months before diagnosis & 11.5 months before his death
44 Thoughts from Brad
“Take huge risks; have dreams; be courteous; tell stories; never leave a boring voicemail.”
“F-Bombs help us cope. Being sassy helps one to own the moment. Taking ourselves too seriously or feeling like we’re victims pose the real risks to actually living life the way we’d hope we can live it.”
“Life is better together. You need people — ideally more than one, but frankly, one who doesn’t drive you fucking nuts more than 20% of the time is a huge accomplishment. Huge.”
“I wonder if the great secret of life is that people with dreams live them out; and those without, in doubt.”
“The simplest, most profound power one has is the power to decide.”
“Be thoughtful but be fearless.”
“We’re afraid of the truth. That life is so finite and fickle, that our indulgences and egos and base desires could so mercilessly cast aside our profound potential — to realized love, depth, promise, patience, forgiveness”
“The dreams of youth color all of life.”
“An extraordinary future awaits. You are empowered and free to be the whole person you’ve always hoped.” (June 4, 2014, Brad’s 33rd birthday note to himself)
“Cancer blows. Plain and simple.”
“Be whole in the rhythm.”
“Time to roar. Time to work. Trust the process.”
“Dreams are hollow unless we scream into them.”
“Courage — how do I cultivate that? Stare down injustice? My insecurities? Lift up my voice? All good options.”
“Do the hard things first.”
“Burst with love, honesty, and creativity.” (October 13, 2016 - diagnosis day)
“There’s a story to tell. And to live as well.”
“Give yourself the patient tenacity and courage to fulfill your dreams. Honor yourself by honoring your commitments. Be faithful. Be forgiving. Be true.”
“Write your heart out. Sweat it out every day. Love hard and deep.”
“What is the one thing you could do that would completely blow your mind?” (found on a piece of lined notebook paper)
“A transformational life — is that too much to ask for?”
“We ask why too much; wonder who is to blame; search for causes instead of solutions. We wonder and wonder and throw our hands in the air at the sheer scale of the challenge instead of asking ourselves over and over again: now what?”
“The truth is, we’re all terminal.”
“Embrace what is here, right in front of me. And work harder on the things I want most.”
“Be present. Big life is made in the cumulative details.”
“Excellence knows no boundaries; Persistence knows no deadlines. Honoring your commitments is all that counts.”
“The next chapter awaits. Take the shot.”
“Everything grand is granular achieved.”
“Do the small things to let the big things flow.”
“If there’s something I’ve learned about candidates for office, it’s this: it’s not their positions or their charisma that should move you. It’s not who you want to have a beer with. What matters is which of these people knows how to best solve problems. Can they negotiate? Do they build relationships? Do they create opportunities? Are they creative? Do they communicate clearly? Are they mission, goal, and outcome-focused? Can they get past their preferences for the general good? Do they put community first? Can they secure results? This is what I am most hungry for: urgently executed constructive problem solving.”
“Be enough. Be free.”
“Keep writing. Keep waking. Keep forgiving. Keep your heart in the right place. Develop your own patient tenacity with yourself. It’s the only way (I hope).”
“Ultimately, it’s adversity that defines who we are. Adversity sets the stage for a lifetime of empowerment or victimization in the face of trying circumstances. Adversity sets the context for our shared difficulties and deepest losses — of loved ones or innocence or trust in others. Adversity sets each and every single person up for the fundamental facts all of us face — that life is trying, filled with uncertainty, moments of despair, loss, and profound tragedy.”
“If you think you’re somebody, then you’re just thinking too hard.”
“A full life lived is made through the people and authentic exchanges we keep, more than the milestones we meet.”
“Stop echoing the music in your head. Stop reeling the reel of your life forwards and back. Live it instead.”
“Let passion lead, and you become a great follower.”
“It feels like my soul just whispered in my ear.”
“If your dream is big, be big. If your dream is small, be big in your small dream. If you’re at all without a dream? Well, baby dream on.”
“If you can’t let go, you’re holding on too tight.”
“Leadership…the real kind…is shockingly lonely.”
“Forever knows it’s here longer than we are.”
“This is the time to soak it all in and see how life’s fragility brings out the most beautiful and precious facets of being human.”
“I hope, nonetheless.”
And one bonus, just for me, because who doesn’t want to be remembered this way:
“My Love, she knows how to live better than anyone else I know. She’s joy. She believes in Santa. She’s adventurous. She’s magical. She’s unconventional. She believes in love stories. She’s just imperfect enough to make me feel worthy as a man. She’s Thunder. She’s everything I want and more than I ever imagined was possible.”
Which sentence resonates most with you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Or even better, share a sentence or thought from a person you love — because their stories, their words, matter too.
I love this sentence: “She’s just imperfect enough to make me feel worthy as a man.” ❤️
This is a treasure chest, Dana, a treasure chest of words. Just open it now and then and Brad's voice will never silence. So many wise things here being said by him. I never met Brad, but through yours and his own words I can hear him.
There are many phrases to requote. I've read them all a few times now and I'll share the ones that speak directly to my heart.
I'll start with no. 11; "Be whole in the rythm". This is one of the best life advices I've ever read.
I also love no. 12. It makes me what to roar along, loudly and clearly; "Time to roar. Time to work. Trust the process".
No. 13 is an important reminder: "Dreams are hollow unless we scream into them".
No. 6 I will keep on repeat in my own mind: "Be thoughtful, but be fearless".
No. 15 is how I live most of the time to enjoy the rest: "Do the hard things first".
No. 17 is a significant reminder: "There's a story to tell. And to live as well".
No. 19 hits home big time; "Write your heart out. Sweat it out every day. Love hard and deep".
No. 29, followed by no. 30 are two sensible advices to keep; "Do the small things to let the big things flow". "Be enough. Be free".
In no. 31 Brad asks a lot of essential questions that should be held to leaders. The whole quote is an every day strong reminiscense of what should be done. My favourite question to any leader, big or small is; "Do they put community first?"
I will wrap this up by two more of Brad's phrases.
In honour of him, to celebrate his life; no. 23 and 44 sum it all up; "The trutht is we're all terminal" - BUT (my word) "I hope, nonetheless".