Joy Still Exists List #8
Bookish edition
I thought I was done with the Joy Still Exists list, but the Forced Joy Project didn’t start because life was going well. It started when we were heavy in shit. It started in a moment of desperation — to serve as a reminder that when you’re living in the darkness, to look for the light. Now, more than ever, we need a place for joy.
So while the world is falling apart and you may be feeling hopeless, let’s remember: joy still exists.
Recently my grandmother said to me, “I’m so glad you’re happy now. I remember when you were young and would spend all your time reading books in your room.”
I was offended because one, the comment was said in the context of my having a boyfriend (which to her, I guess, equates to happiness) and two, because spending all my time in my room reading books was how I preferred to spend my time (and still do much of the time).
“Grandma, I am happy and I still like to spend my time reading books in my room,” I responded. Although for a time longer than I’d like to admit, neither was true.
After Brad died, reading was an unexpected secondary loss. I couldn’t focus on my toes, let alone, an entire book. Eventually, I was able to consume some self-help type books and then memoirs from other grievers. 8 years later, I have regained my capacity and desire (even if I lack the desired time).
And according to a quick Instagram poll, I’m not alone. When I asked about the topic, some responded:
“I was so caught off guard by how my reading was affected by grief. 5 years in and just now getting back into it — slowly.”
“I just read my first book in two and a half years! I’ve come so far and I’m so proud of myself.”
“Reading is a core part of my identity, and after they died, I couldn’t do it for years.”
Reading in the midst of grief is hard. But for most of us, the love and capacity come back. So for this edition of Joy Still Exists, I’m disappointing my grandma1 and talking all about books — and the joys I get from them, whether holed up in my room or elsewhere.
Little Book Joy: Little Free Flybrary
It was a joy explosion when I saw that my local library, the Traverse Area District Library has teamed up with my local little airport, the Cherry Capital Airport to provide a free little library inside the airport.
When I travel, it’s a constant struggle of “How much of my allotted weight can I give to my books”2 and “Can I fit in just one more?” Oftentimes I pack a book, knowing I’ll finish it on the plane and donate it somewhere along the way. How amazing to be able to pick up a used book for free at the airport and then donate it when you land?
Hopefully, all airports will follow suit, but until then, I love that Traverse City is taking the pilot’s seat and leading the way.
Medium Book Joy: Local Bookshops
Small, independent bookshops give me more joy than most things. I seek them out when traveling, finding the books, the owners, the stores themselves, a vault of hidden treasures and stories waiting to be unburied.
I am lucky to live in an area where there just might be as many independent bookstores as there are breweries (which is a lot). Every small town has its own bookshop with its own flair. Cottage Books, Leland Books, Landmark Books - the list goes on. But none can compete with my favorite shop in my favorite town, Dog Ears Books in Northport.
Not only is it dog-friendly (hi Maggie!) and people-friendly (check out owner, Pamela’s book blog — another place on the internet that brings me joy), but Dog Ears is also part of my “before” story. Northport was my introduction to “up north” when I first visited with Brad and a group of friends in 2013 to celebrate my cancer remission. It’s easy to fall in love with Northern Michigan, but walking into Dog Ears (and all of Northport) made me feel home, and chasing that feeling is part of the reason I moved up north 5 years later, after Brad’s death.
My full Northport love story is a tale for another day, but in a serendipitous act, when I went to Pamela’s blog to grab the link for this post, I saw a recent post of hers is all about JOY and also happens to mention me. Double dose of joy 💛
Big Book Joy: Book of Stories
In business book news, my new platform for Book of Stories is officially live and in beta testing! If you’re new here, Book of Stories are memorial books that capture the stories about a loved one you lost, through collective storytelling (friends and family each share one story, and you end up with an entire book full of memories across a person’s life!). Stories are what I wanted after Brad’s death, and it’s been such an honor helping so many others capture the stories of their people too.
After 4 years of creating books, the platform got a facelift and did a whole lot of inner work in order to make the process more streamlined and user-friendly. If you haven’t checked it out, head to the new site (!) and please share with others.
"I am so grateful for the book of stories. I love being able to read about other people's memories of him and how he impacted their lives. The stories make me both laugh and cry in the best possible way. Thank you for providing this invaluable keepsake." - Meredith R.
It also couldn’t have been done without this community, many of who donated to my crowdfunding campaign to make it happen, and many others who shared that this gift exists. I haven’t officially launched it to the public (you are the first to know!) but if you are hoping to create a book about someone you love, you can head over and start now.
I’d love to hear about your book joy! What are you reading (are you reading?), any cute bookshops in your town? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below.
Looking for some grief books? Check out this Community Chat with lots of good options:
Not really, she loves and supports everything I do — including holing up like a hermit in my room.
Yes, I know, I know, a kindle would simplify my life, but I’m an underline-my-favorite-lines, take-notes-in-the-margin, dog-ear-the-pages, smell-the-book type of woman.
I live on a narrow boat and travel all the time (albeit very slowly) and finding a bookshop in a town or village that we're passing through always gives me joy; if the bookshop also sells coffee and home made cake, even better! I love rereading books, sometimes more than once. I've just read one of my favourite all time books for the 4th time and loved it all over again. It was Ladder of Years by Anne Tyler....I love this book so much and recommend it to everyone who loves to read 📚 Karen
What a nice surprise, finding myself in your post today! Thank you ever so much, Dana. Yes, I too have read many grief memoirs, which for me are a genre all their own. The most recent was the one by Geraldine Brooks, which brought me to tears more than once. But I do find joy and even laughter on occasion. Having just discovered, thanks to a friend, a series of detective novels set on Sanibel Island, I am having a ball reading those before I go to sleep -- and when I wake in the middle of the night and need to distract my mind from dark thoughts.