Dana, I watched your whole video with Mira and could relate to much of it. One thing I want to add, though, to the discussion about staying in a home shared with a late spouse is that it matters a LOT (1) how old you are and (2) how long you have been married. The home I am in now was a dream come true for my husband and me, and I can't imagine leaving it. It's also where the children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren have come for years. My dog cn be off-leash, and I have lots of room to garden, but basically my home is my refuge from a cold world. I could say much, much more, but that's the bottom line. Being young and widowed in an urban apartment would obviously be different from being an older widow in an old farmhouse.
Hi Pamela, thanks so much for your insight. And you're right, there are so many reasons people choose to stay vs. leave. I do think time, children, and many other circumstances help us dictate those decisions. It sounds like there is so much history (and future history!) in your home, I imagine it would feel impossible to leave all that. I'm so glad you have a little refuge from this cold world -- I found more of that in my move up north and am grateful for that every day.
"They say not to make any big decisions early in grief, but I was tired of avoiding my previously loved life." SO TRUE!
I bought a new house 10 months after my husband died and moved into it right around that first anniversary. I clearly remember sitting on my couch in my new house (which I love and is pretty close to my dream house) and missing my old house. I wasn't really missing that old house but instead missing the life that I had built there. It didn't take away the grief but it did give me the space I needed to breathe again. To find my love for gardening again and find my way in a life I didn't expect to live.
"It didn't take away the grief, but did give the space to breathe again." I felt the same after moving. And now, am looking forward to my first garden this year! Thank so much for sharing your thoughts and experience, Angie 💛
Dana, I watched your whole video with Mira and could relate to much of it. One thing I want to add, though, to the discussion about staying in a home shared with a late spouse is that it matters a LOT (1) how old you are and (2) how long you have been married. The home I am in now was a dream come true for my husband and me, and I can't imagine leaving it. It's also where the children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren have come for years. My dog cn be off-leash, and I have lots of room to garden, but basically my home is my refuge from a cold world. I could say much, much more, but that's the bottom line. Being young and widowed in an urban apartment would obviously be different from being an older widow in an old farmhouse.
Hi Pamela, thanks so much for your insight. And you're right, there are so many reasons people choose to stay vs. leave. I do think time, children, and many other circumstances help us dictate those decisions. It sounds like there is so much history (and future history!) in your home, I imagine it would feel impossible to leave all that. I'm so glad you have a little refuge from this cold world -- I found more of that in my move up north and am grateful for that every day.
Dana, so lovely and well written!
"They say not to make any big decisions early in grief, but I was tired of avoiding my previously loved life." SO TRUE!
I bought a new house 10 months after my husband died and moved into it right around that first anniversary. I clearly remember sitting on my couch in my new house (which I love and is pretty close to my dream house) and missing my old house. I wasn't really missing that old house but instead missing the life that I had built there. It didn't take away the grief but it did give me the space I needed to breathe again. To find my love for gardening again and find my way in a life I didn't expect to live.
"It didn't take away the grief, but did give the space to breathe again." I felt the same after moving. And now, am looking forward to my first garden this year! Thank so much for sharing your thoughts and experience, Angie 💛
Living up north has been healing for me as well. Nature does nurture!
It's so true. So grateful to be in such a beautiful place.