Lance died almost 2 years ago now and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him, multiple times per day actually. I work in a non-grief job related job as well and agree that the loss of my husband, the most important person in the world to me, certainly affected me differently than the deaths of other close family members. Their death was impactful, gut wrenching, and certainly changed my life but losing my spouse changed every second of my future for the rest of my life. It changed how I go to bed, how I make coffee, how I grocery shop or cook, my hopes and dreams, my outlook on life, it changes everything. The other losses certainly change moments, events, holidays, etc but the minute to minute doesn’t change in their absence. I hope I think about him every day, multiple times per day, for the rest of my life.
I'm like you Dana, I think of Oscar daily, multiple times a day. And I do go to a regular non-grief related job. He may not be the first thing I think about every morning, but he's still the last thought as I go to sleep.
I also don't know when I stopped thinking about my grandparents that I've lost every day, or my aunt and uncle.
I think maybe it has to do with when someone is an integral part of our daily life maybe we tend to think of them more often and longer - the empty hole where they used to be is much more noticeable.
Christina died almost two and a half years ago. She is still on my mind every single day, but it is definitely a changing dynamic as time pushes on. In my own life since her passing, I've taken in two rescue dogs. My first dog, Skadi, I told her lots of stories about christina, and how someday she would meet her. Unfortunately, I only had skadi for six months before she passed unexpectly. I took in another rescue, Rico, but I don't tell him near as many stories about christina. I'm learning how to survive alone, how to process living without her, but she's still there. Most days go by in the new normal, I've adapted to cooking for one, doing all the cleaning and such, and being there to play with my pup. To be honest, those days I feel mainly numb. But, there is nothing that has changed those moments where I just want her back here, alive and well. Those still hit just as hard as they ever have.
I am 15 months in from losing my husband and think about him all the time. Even if distracted with work or other activity, he is always there…either right at the surface or right below. And it’s not just my mind but my body too (The Body Keeps the Score)
I’m not sure how actively I do think of Ron, some days are a constant loop, Days that I spend seeing my family and he should be here. Ordinary days are filled with my to do lists but maybe that’s when I just don’t have the capacity to feel.
Just over four years and I think of my Corey every damn day! Not sure when I stopped thinking of my deceased dad but by the time he died he had been living in another state for years and I had only seen him maybe two or three times in the years since he moved. Like others have said, might depend on how integrated they were in your life. My husband and I had spent at most 4 days apart in our nearly 12 years of marriage.
It been 1,089 days since John died. Next Thursday is three years. I think about him all the time. He always on my mind. There’s a repeat loop of him that plays continually. Always there. I was having an out-loud conversation (to myself) with him today as I was fixing the ancho-espresso sauce to go. About this guy in the restaurant. His picture is on my phone screens. There’s another picture by the sunroof in my car. Pictures all over our house. All of my family is deceased. I think about them regularly. They’ve been gone many, many years. 65-53-45-17-7-3
Tomorrow will be 900 days since my husband died and I think about him every day, throughout my day. While the raw grief has softened, I'm not sure the longing and missing will ever truly go away. When two people become one, I think this is just how it is.
Lance died almost 2 years ago now and not a day goes by that I don’t think about him, multiple times per day actually. I work in a non-grief job related job as well and agree that the loss of my husband, the most important person in the world to me, certainly affected me differently than the deaths of other close family members. Their death was impactful, gut wrenching, and certainly changed my life but losing my spouse changed every second of my future for the rest of my life. It changed how I go to bed, how I make coffee, how I grocery shop or cook, my hopes and dreams, my outlook on life, it changes everything. The other losses certainly change moments, events, holidays, etc but the minute to minute doesn’t change in their absence. I hope I think about him every day, multiple times per day, for the rest of my life.
I'm like you Dana, I think of Oscar daily, multiple times a day. And I do go to a regular non-grief related job. He may not be the first thing I think about every morning, but he's still the last thought as I go to sleep.
I also don't know when I stopped thinking about my grandparents that I've lost every day, or my aunt and uncle.
I think maybe it has to do with when someone is an integral part of our daily life maybe we tend to think of them more often and longer - the empty hole where they used to be is much more noticeable.
Christina died almost two and a half years ago. She is still on my mind every single day, but it is definitely a changing dynamic as time pushes on. In my own life since her passing, I've taken in two rescue dogs. My first dog, Skadi, I told her lots of stories about christina, and how someday she would meet her. Unfortunately, I only had skadi for six months before she passed unexpectly. I took in another rescue, Rico, but I don't tell him near as many stories about christina. I'm learning how to survive alone, how to process living without her, but she's still there. Most days go by in the new normal, I've adapted to cooking for one, doing all the cleaning and such, and being there to play with my pup. To be honest, those days I feel mainly numb. But, there is nothing that has changed those moments where I just want her back here, alive and well. Those still hit just as hard as they ever have.
I am 15 months in from losing my husband and think about him all the time. Even if distracted with work or other activity, he is always there…either right at the surface or right below. And it’s not just my mind but my body too (The Body Keeps the Score)
I’m not sure how actively I do think of Ron, some days are a constant loop, Days that I spend seeing my family and he should be here. Ordinary days are filled with my to do lists but maybe that’s when I just don’t have the capacity to feel.
Just over four years and I think of my Corey every damn day! Not sure when I stopped thinking of my deceased dad but by the time he died he had been living in another state for years and I had only seen him maybe two or three times in the years since he moved. Like others have said, might depend on how integrated they were in your life. My husband and I had spent at most 4 days apart in our nearly 12 years of marriage.
It been 1,089 days since John died. Next Thursday is three years. I think about him all the time. He always on my mind. There’s a repeat loop of him that plays continually. Always there. I was having an out-loud conversation (to myself) with him today as I was fixing the ancho-espresso sauce to go. About this guy in the restaurant. His picture is on my phone screens. There’s another picture by the sunroof in my car. Pictures all over our house. All of my family is deceased. I think about them regularly. They’ve been gone many, many years. 65-53-45-17-7-3
I agree with Lisa. I think it may be different with spouses than other relatives because they’re so integrated into our daily lives
Tomorrow will be 900 days since my husband died and I think about him every day, throughout my day. While the raw grief has softened, I'm not sure the longing and missing will ever truly go away. When two people become one, I think this is just how it is.